IS LOVE IN THE AIR?
The Howard Stern Show for May 8, 2008

Howard started off the show noting that Artie's eye has blackened significantly since yesterday. Robin agreed, saying Artie should've had it looked at by a plastic surgeon, but it was too late now. Artie thought it seemed appropriate that he had missed out on the opportunity to fix his eye, as he already “looks like a wife who doesn't listen.” Howard wondered if Artie was going to explain the injury on-stage at his gigs, and Artie replied that there was no question: “I'm no hack.”

Howard played a clip of Scott Ferrall arguing with one of his producers, Chris Noboa, after Noboa called him a “fair weather” Rangers fan. In the clip, Noboa and Ferrall simultaneously attempt to filibuster over the other until Ferrall finally demanded that Lou, his executive producer, cut to a commercial break in order to diffuse the situation. Howard went on to add that Ferrall fired Noboa during the break, but thought he should consider hiring him back, as the clip was solid gold.

Eric the Midget called in to say he was glad to see Jason Castro kicked off “American Idol,” as Eric thought he was “annoying and has no talent.” HowardTV brought up Eric's webcam feed on the in-studio monitors, and the crew marveled again at Eric's strange facial hair patterns. Howard said, “Get rid of that mustache, dude. It's ruining your look,” but Eric ignored him and instead used his airtime to endorse his favorite “Idol” competitor. No one thought Eric's endorsement would sway voters.

Lisa G came in with the headlines, and Artie remarked that Lisa was hitting on him in the halls, saying things like how funny he was being today. Lisa denied hitting on Artie, but eventually caved: “Alright, let's go out to dinner.” Everyone “Oooh”d in shock and Artie asked Lisa what she liked to eat. Lisa said, “Healthy, clean food.” Artie suggested an Italian place, and Lisa agreed. Later, Lisa denied that she'd actually agreed to go out with Artie, so Artie shot back: “Not even if I give you the key to the chastity belt you locked on in the fourth grade?”

Gary came in to question an old story about Benjy using a cookie wrapper as a dental dam when he ate out a stripper, but both Howard and Fred confirmed it (Howard: “He did. I saw it.”). Gary also doubted Benjy's claim to have had sex with “hundreds” of women, but Benjy replied that his magic number wasn't that ridiculous and speculated that Howard was probably higher. Howard begged to differ: “10. Then I got married and hit a slump for about 25 years: 11. Then Beth. 12, maybe?”

The crew's critical lens then turned on Jon Hein's claim to have gotten oral from (at least) 34 women (a number significantly less than his original claim: “approaching” 80), as everyone doubted that girls would line up to service him. Howard predicted that “By Monday, the number will be down even more.” Robin asked how Jon talked girls into doing it, but Artie cut in, speculating that it was just a simple “Do you have the time?”

Howard played a clip from a news story about the winner of the “Ugliest Dude, Hottest Wife” having to resign from her job amidst controversy surrounding her appearance on the show. Aaron, the “ugliest dude” in question, called in to say he and his wife appreciated the show's support, but his wife's only choice was to resign: “We were ok...but then the local news media got a hold of it...there was a good amount of pressure.” Howard said he was sorry that the school board didn't have any decency because, not only did Aaron’s wife keep all of her clothes on when she was on the show, but she didn’t even say anything remotely controversial.

Gary reported that Lisa G and Sal had been in a screaming at each other in the halls for the last ten minutes, so Sal came in to say that the Howard100 News had agreed to retract a story about his credit card being declined. Sal explained that Lisa had been instructed to retract the story by Howard100 News's news director, Brad Driver, during her morning headlines, but she neglected to do so. Sal said research proved that the Sal Governale who had his credit card declined was, in fact, another guy with the same name.

Lisa came in to explain she got to as many stories as she could in the time Howard gave her, and the retraction would've been included in Steve Langford's headlines - or one of the countless news briefs that air throughout the day. Sal wanted Lisa to retract immediately, but Howard told him to calm down and stop whining: “You got your 'traction.'”

Howard got Mike Walker of the National Enquirer on the line, as he does every Thursday, to play “The Gossip Game,” in which Mike reads four gossip items – three (allegedly) true, one false – and the crew has to guess the fake. After Howard again praised Mike’s new book, “Get Real! The Sexy, Scary, Scandalous World of Reality TV,” Mike read this week's stories:

1. Al Pacino personally refunded a woman who didn't like his latest movie.

2. Ellen Degeneres won't do “Dancing with the Stars” because she hates wearing dresses.

3. Tina Fey helped rescue a peacock that had wandered too close to a LA roadway.

4. Will Smith rescued a dog from drowning.

Howard and Artie thought the first story was false, Fred speculated that the Tina Fey was a weird NBC plug, and Robin picked the Ellen story, as Ellen probably had much more significant reasons for turning down “Dancing with the Stars.” Mike then announced that Robin was right.

Celebrities give their kids f'd up names.

Mariah Carey met her husband six weeks ago.

Jenna Bush is getting married.

Hillary Clinton is stubborn.

President Bush won't bail out loan-crippled homeowners.

NBC is dropping “Scrubs.”

Bo Bice returned to “American Idol” last night.

Kelly Ripa is the most popular celebrity mom.