THE CELEBRATORY BRO HUG
Howard noted that Artie and Jason celebrated the Yankee's 27th World Series win this morning with a "kind of gay bro-hug," but their arms could barely wrap around each other: "They're two very large men."
Artie said a Yankees championship is special and brings people together. Howard asked if Artie could ever be a Mets fan, but Artie felt the question was the same as “would you ever blow a guy?”
HOWARD'S BODY ISSUES
Howard complained that he could work on his fitness all he wanted ("And it's all for nothing. For nothing!") but couldn't change his face. Robin tried to console him but chose the wrong words: "You are not the ugliest person on Earth." Artie laughed: "What a compliment, Robin."
RILEY MARTIN IS BACK...TO COMPLAINING
Howard got Riley Martin on the line to ask if he could play a clip he'd been handed, explaining that Riley had fought with his co-host, E-Ron, during a break in their show – while the mics were open. Riley demanded that Howard first allow him to complain ("Nevertheless that's not really my, uh, beef!") about his compensation. Howard agreed.
Riley said he'd met with Dr. Keith Ablow – as Howard had requested – for 2 and a half hours, but he was only paid for an hour. Additionally, Riley claimed he hadn't been paid at all for the hour he talked to Ablow the following week. Tim Sabean came in to respong: "You're out of your mind! You're under contract now. You're an employee at will. Now stop!"
WE NEED A DR. E-RON
After playing the clip of Riley's fight with E-Ron and attempting to communicate with Riley, Howard was exhausted: "I wish E-Ron was a doctor so he could medicate Riley." Riley then promoted a Thanksgiving special that he'll be hosting, leading Howard to joke: "I'm looking forward to it and to the follow-up call when you don't get paid for that either."
DJ SCOTT THE ENGINEER
Scott the Engineer came in to tell the crew about his DJ gig in Vegas at the Pure nightclub at Caesar's Palace, saying they flew him out (but not first class) and put him up in a killer suite: "They treated me like a rock star." Howard played a few clips of Scott's lame mid-set banter: "Alright! How ya'll doing? Everybody's at Pure...we're gonna party all night long!" Scott confessed they didn't actually party all night: "It was just an hour." Robin wondered if he might play a longer set next time, but Scott shrugged: "Maybe another 5 minutes."
Howard laughed at the poster Caesar's Palace had used to promote the gig, as it included an odd-looking picture of Scott: "Who is that guy? That looks like Celine Dion's husband." Howard also sympathized with the guy who “helped” Scott “spin” records: "I'm sure DJ Hollywood was glad to have you there. It must be tons of fun to spin with you." Scott thanked the casino: "They treated me like a VIP. I told them they didn't have to." Artie laughed: "No one else does." [Later, on the Wrap Up Show, a caller speculated that the casino benefited by exposing all the gamblers to Scott’s black cloud.]
Howard got Mike Walker from the National Enquirer on the line, as he does every Thursday, to play “The Gossip Game,” in which Mike reads four gossip items – three (allegedly) true, one false – and the crew has to pick the fake. This week's stories:
