SPINNING HIS WEB
The Howard Stern Show for May 2, 2007

Howard mentioned he was watching Rosie O’Donnell’s video blog before the show, and played a portion of it. In the clip, Rosie took a question from an audience member of “The View,” who asked if she’d ever be on Howard’s show. Rosie then responded that she gained “respect” for Howard during his campaign against the FCC towards the end of his run on terrestrial radio, and that, when she “had something to say,” she’d consider being on the show. Rosie also told the audience member that she used to be “afraid” of Howard, but that she no longer felt that way.

Howard read a note Bubba the Love Sponge sent him criticizing Robin, Artie and Gary for thinking Howard was wrong for leaving Gary’s party on Saturday during dinner. Despite Bubba’s support, Howard also read e-mails from fans who didn’t see the incident from Bubba’s point of view, instead calling him out for this behavior. When one of the e-mails suggested Howard wouldn’t have left early if it’d been a party thrown by Robin, he admitted the last time Robin had a party, he actually stayed all the way through dessert, he did add, however, that she served dinner on time, which was something Gary didn’t do...thanks to Artie’s tardiness.

Robin then asked Howard if Beth was aware of the controversy he started by leaving the party when he did, which he said she was, but that she didn’t seem to want to discuss it on the air.

Howard read an e-mail from a listener who wanted to know how Gary was able to afford the mansion he built recently, as well as the dinner he had on Saturday. While Gary replied he bought the dinner for about $2,700 at a charity auction, Howard interrupted him and asked who called him on Sunday to thank him for the party, and Gary said Howard, Tim Sabean and Ronnie the Limo Driver called, while Tom Chiusano and Fred sent notes. After Gary mentioned that Artie’s “house-warming gift” was four tickets to an upcoming Yankees game, he explained that he felt he “deserved” his house because it was primarily paid for with all the appearances he’d done over the years.

Since everyone was talking about etiquette, Fred wondered if anyone received a thank you note from Bubba for the wedding gifts they gave him in January, but only Artie said he got one. This led Howard to ask Gary to get in touch with Bubba so they could discuss the matter, which he did. Once Bubba was on the line, Fred told him he was bothered that he hadn’t receive a thank you note for his gift, and Bubba claimed he and his wife, Heather, were “in the process” of writing them. As Bubba explained he’d read that it was customary for people to send out thank you notes for wedding gifts up to six months after the ceremony, Fred pointed out he wouldn’t have brought up the topic had Bubba not chimed in about Howard’s behavior at Gary’s house.

Heather then got on the line and mentioned she was preparing the thank you notes for everyone at SIRIUS so they’d go out together, and that she was doing them “little by little.” Upon hearing that, Fred acknowledged he had “no quarrel” with Heather, but that he wished Bubba hadn’t commented on Gary’s party the way he did when he hadn’t demonstrate proper manners himself.

Howard and Heather then got into a discussion about how she’d recently stripped down to her high heels and pleasured herself in the front seat of Bubba’s car while they drove home from dinner. Ralph then called in to say he hadn’t received a thank you note from Bubba either, and also mentioned he didn’t understand why Bubba didn’t make a move on Heather during the car ride in question. However, Bubba replied by telling Ralph that he shouldn’t talk about sex, especially because he didn’t do anything with Akira, when she was trying to get friendly with him at Scores last year.

Beth called in to talk about Saturday night, and Robin wondered if she felt she had been “dragged out” of the party by Howard, which she admitted was partly true. Beth then said she told Howard on the ride home that she loved him because he was able to leave parties so early without anyone saying anything, and added she felt the gesture was somewhat “rude.” Beth went on to note she could’ve “definitely stayed longer,” but also pointed out she knew Howard would’ve “brought the party down” had he stayed given how tired he was, so she thought he made the right choice. Howard went on to ask Beth if she wanted to leave the party as well, as he’d been claiming throughout the week, but she acknowledged she wasn’t ready to go, explaining she was having “a great conversation” with Gary and his wife, Mary, at the time. This led Howard to say he hadn’t realized Beth didn’t want to go when they did, and that “the new him” would stay at future parties longer.

Beth proceeded to say her family wanted to have an engagement party for her and Howard in Pittsburgh, where she was this morning visiting her parents, and he joked he’d go to it as long as they could leave early. When Beth said she “loved” Pittsburgh, Howard commented he wanted to visit the city so he could see where Beth grew up. Gary then came into the studio to point out that all people had wanted to hear since Monday was an admission from Howard that he was wrong, but Howard insisted he was still right, although he also admitted that, based on what Beth had said, he was now thinking he shouldn’t have left Gary’s house when he did.

Howard brought up that Benjy has been late to work several times lately, and threatened to make him do his work from outside the studio if he didn’t start showing up by 6 a.m. Benjy responded by saying he wasn’t the only crew member who wasn’t always on time, but Howard told him he was. In fact, Howard added that even Artie has been on time every morning, and Artie said that was true, even though he admitted he walked in today right as the show was starting.

Tobey Maguire came into the studio to talk about “Spider-Man 3” among other topics. After Howard recommended that Tobey legally change his name to Spider-Man, Artie wondered if he was “the only intellectual” in the room, adding he thought Tobey should change his name to “The Cider House Rules.” Howard then mentioned an article that appeared in today’s New York Post that gossip columnists used to want to portray Tobey as gay because he was hanging out with Leonardo DiCaprio. This led Tobey to remember his mother once talked to someone at the Globe – someone who had told Tobey’s mom that she was actually working for a gay-rights publication – about how her son sometimes slept in the same bed as Leonardo, and that he had to ask her to never talk to reporters again.

Howard said Tobey and his girlfriend, Jennifer, who is the daughter of Hollywood mogul, Ron Meyer, had a baby together, but that they had yet to get married so he asked Tobey why. Tobey responded that he’d been busy the past year, and that he and Jennifer planned on tying the knot sometime soon. Howard then commented Jennifer had a baby shower last year, and that Jennifer Aniston, Courtney Cox, Jennifer Garner, Demi Moore and Kate Hudson all attended the event.

Howard brought up that Tobey doesn’t drink or do drugs, and he replied he started drinking at the age of 14 and he quit when he was 19. Tobey went on to say the first acting job he had was in a Rodney Dangerfield special, and that Rodney approached his mother on the set and said, “How about we get together and do some huggin’.” However, Tobey added his mother turned down Rodney’s advances.

Howard reported Tobey made $12 million for the first “Spider-Man” and $17 million for the second installment of the series, but Tobey wouldn’t get into how much money he made for the newest movie. Tobey went on to say he “loved working with the people” from the “Spider-Man” franchise, and wouldn’t rule out being in a fourth film if the same people involved in the first three decided to make it. Howard proceeded to say he and his “Spider-Man” co-star, Kirsten Dustin, started dating during the first “Spider-Man,” and he wondered if it was now awkward working with her since they’d split up. Although Tobey laughed off Howard’s question and refused to answer it, he added he liked working with Kirsten and that they were friends.

When Howard next asked Tobey if he and Leonardo “ever did the same woman,” Tobey again laughed and asked, “Do you really think I’m going to cave with any of this stuff?” Despite this, Tobey did admit he once skinny-dipped with Liv Tyler, and that he threw up during the swim because he’d been drinking.

Howard read a list of women Tobey may have allegedly been with sexually – including Kirsten Dunst, Demi Moore, Nicole Richie and Christina Aguilera – but Tobey said he was “neither confirming nor denying” any of the names. Robin then asked Tobey how he got his start in acting, and he told her it was because his mom encouraged him to get into acting. Howard proceeded to recall how Tobey was thinking about leaving the “Spider-Man” franchise years ago, but Tobey noted that, because of back problems he was having at the time, he wasn’t sure if he’d be healthy enough to be in it. Given this, Howard pointed out he felt Jake Gyllenhaal was trying to live Tobey’s life – both because he wanted to be Spider-Man and even dated Kirsten Dunst – but Tobey denied that was the case.

Howard, who’d seen an advanced screening of “Spider-Man 3,” next told Tobey he enjoyed it so much because of both the special effects and the storyline. Howard then took some calls for Tobey, including one from Ralph, who wanted to know why Kirsten didn’t have her teeth straightened, a question that made Tobey laugh and say, “Shit.” Other callers asked Tobey if he considered himself an A-list celebrity, which he responded he did, and if he’d ever had sex in his Spider-Man costume, but he said he hadn’t because the suit was a one-piece.

Tobey proceeded to acknowledge he hoped to be able to watch “Spider-Man 3” in a movie theater with a regular audience during its opening weekend, explaining he felt viewing the film with people who paid to see it was the most fun part of making such a movie. Howard then let “the Geek Squad,” Jason Kaplan and Steve the Intern, into the studio to say hello to Tobey. After Jason told Tobey that he liked him in both “Spider-Man” and “Wonder Boys,” Steve said the same thing, and asked him if he’d sign a Spider-Man comic book for him, which Tobey said he’d do.

Howard played a clip of Gary Garver at an event in California interviewing Lorenzo Lamas, who talked about what a big fan of Howard’s he was and how he’d like to be on the show the next time he was in New York. However, even though Gary was asking Lorenzo relatively innocuous questions, a security woman approached Gary and demanded that he leave. A security man then came up to Gary as well and referred to him as “a piece of shit just like your boss” while the woman kept yelling for Gary to “get that microphone out of my face.”

Howard next got to a tape of Bernard McGuirk, Don Imus’ former producer who also lost his job last month, on “Hannity & Colmes” on Fox News, and also read an article about how Imus’ wife, Deidre, visited Harlem recently, a move that Howard thought was an attempt at getting sympathy from African Americans following the controversy her husband caused.

Gilbert Gottfried stopped in and acknowledged he was now married, which led Howard to retell the story Bubba the Love Sponge’s wife, Heather, told earlier in the morning about masturbating in the car, and asked if Gilbert’s wife did the same thing for him. However, Gilbert responded his wife wasn’t as open sexually as Heather, and went on to say his wedding was a small affair with just a few guests. Howard then pointed out no one from the media covered his wedding, and Gilbert acknowledged he was never a press favorite, joking he’d even been cropped out of pictures taken at various events before they were published.

Howard asked Gilbert if he’d ever do a reality show based on his marriage, and he claimed he’d been receiving offers for such a program, but that he wasn’t sure if he’d do it. Gilbert then said he and his wife didn’t have a reception after their wedding, and that their “honeymoon” was him inviting her to visit him in San Francisco when he was scheduled to perform there. When Howard next brought up that Gilbert’s wife was pregnant, Gilbert revealed they were expecting a girl.

Howard then played a number of prank calls Richard and Sal made using Gilbert’s voice, which had Gilbert coughing in the background because he was laughing so hard. Howard proceeded to ask Gilbert what he thought “the height of his celebrity was,” but he didn’t have an answer. Gilbert did say, though, that he was once asked to make a presentation at an awards show, but that, after he talked about Pee Wee Herman and masturbation during the ceremony, he hadn’t been asked back to any awards ceremonies.

A caller wanted to know if he could play a game for tickets to Andy Dick’s roast on the show on May 16. Howard then said the caller could play What’s Crackhead Bob Saying? and played the first clip. The caller proceeded to guess that Bob said, “Oh, monkey,” but Artie told him Bob actually said, “Oh, cunty,” which was something originally said by Alexis Stewart. Although the caller was incorrect, Howard gave him another shot, but he couldn’t identify the second quote either, which was of Crackhead reciting the Blue Iris line, “I’m wearing a negligee.” Howard went on to give the caller a third opportunity, but his guess of “We say your name” was wrong, with the answer really being “We speak your name,” which was taken from an Oprah Winfrey television special. However, the caller was given one final shot, and he correctly identified Bob saying, “You f’ing geek.”

• Last night’s “American Idol” paid tribute to Bon Jovi.

• President Bush also recorded a message for the show.

• A pornographic film started playing on a cable station in the middle of a cartoon.

• Doctors have found marijuana may lead to psychotic symptoms.

• The musician, Tom Newsom, died over the weekend.

• Tom Poston passed away as well.

• Rallies for immigrants were held across the country yesterday.

• The NAACP will hold a symbolic funeral for the n-word.

• President Bush vetoed a bill yesterday that would’ve given timetables for America’s withdrawal from Iraq.

• Some American tax dollars went to paying for expenditures for Saddam Hussein while he was in prison.

• Britney Spears performed onstage for the first time in four years.

• John Ratzenberger was the latest person to be voted off “Dancing with the Stars.”