GINA OR WIENER
The Howard Stern Show for November 5, 2008

Sal started off the show congratulating Robin on Obama's win: "You've been pushing this guy the whole time." Artie jokingly complained that the election's results could be the start of a horrible trend: "I got news for you. My driver's a black guy and today he was late for the first time. I was like, 'God, things change quick.'"

Howard was surprised to learn that Alaska voted Ted Stevens back into office: "The guy is a felon." Gary came in with results in Al Franken's Senate race, saying Al was down by 500 votes, so there'll probably be a recount. Riley Martin then called in to report that the aliens were pleased by Obama's victory, "They told me 25 years ago that one will come. I never imagined that it would be a black man."

Artie told Gary that his "Baba Booey" Crumbs cupcake had too much cream in the middle, so Gary came in to reply that it was the same as the test cupcake Artie had tried - and loved - a couple weeks ago. Artie eventually admitted that he was just bitter over LifeBeat refusing to accept profits from his cupcake.

Gary laughed that the pivotal LifeBeat board meeting was the most embarrassing of his life: "I'm sitting there as they're reading the transcript [of Artie's epithet and invective-filled tirade against High Pitch Mike] and they're all looking at me like I said it." Artie shot back: "Let those people spend a week with High Pitch Mike and see if they're not saying the same things."

Scott Depace came in to say he blamed Bush for Obama's victory: "He definitely did things wrong, but Obama raising taxes will never help the economy...I'm quite agitated." Robin was surprised at Scott's anger, so Scott explained: "I'm upset that people are so swayed by bullshit." Howard wondered if Scott could put his bitterness aside and attend Jason's wedding this weekend, so Scott laughed: "No. I told him I didn't even want to be invited."

Daniel Carver called in to speculate that Obama's win might rejuvenate the KKK: "It could backfire and all the white people will join the Klan." Howard asked Daniel how 25% of his (predominantly white) hometown could have voted for Obama, so Daniel explained, "Every town's got a little black in it...we knew it would come some day. If it wasn't this time, it would be later...I was hoping I wasn't going to see it in [my lifetime]." Howard then spoke with Daniel's wife, who promised that Obama's presidency wouldn't last longer than 4 years.

Howard read some newspaper reports about Dominic Barbara's most recent marriage issues. One reported that during a fight, Dominic's wife, Leslie, allegedly smashed a plate of spaghetti over Dominic's head. The next said that Dominic actually bailed Leslie out (after she'd been charged with "menacing" in the 2nd degree), but she was promptly re-arrested for violating the restraining order that prevented her from entering their home. Gary came in to say that Dominic had called to say he's going through a tough time - but refused to talk about it (or anything else) live on the air.

Gina Lynn stopped by to promote her latest video, “Fantastic Whores 4”, and her appearance in HowardTV’s “The Wackpack Visits The Christys.” When she walked in everyone remarked that she'd gotten even better looking since her last visit.

Howard revealed that Gina was his current favorite porn star: "I beat off to so many of Gina's videos." Gina had heard that Howard was a big fan of her oral sex technique, so she used a banana to show the crew her usual routine: "I choke on it a few times to get it wet and then I give it my technique."

Howard asked Gina how she liked filming with the wackpackers at the Christy family farm in Kansas, and Gina replied she never wanted to return to Kansas: "After that trip I will never eat meat or chicken...it kind of freaked me out." Gina cited a jersey cow named Esther that responded to its name as the animal that most influenced her decision – despite the fact that the cow crapped all over while she was trying to milk it. Gina added that she actually had a good time with the wackpackers: "I love Yucko. We bonded." Gina also learned that one of the Christy family's dogs was deathly afraid of Richard: "I don't know what Richard did to it to make it that scared." Richard explained that he didn’t know either as he would never do anything to harm a dog.

Howard welcomed a mechanic named Tommy to the studio to play "Gina or Wiener." Tommy told the crew he was a huge fan of Gina’s - he even has her face and signature tattooed on his arm.

Howard then set the rules for the game, telling Tommy that he'll get to fondle Gina's breasts if he gets the first trivia question right. For the second, he gets to fondle her ass. The third gets him a lap-dance. For four right answers, he gets to spank her. All five earns him a fully-nude "massage." Richard and Sal came in as "Poncho" and "Rusty" to explain the other side of the contest: for every wrong answer, they'll slap Tommy in the face with their “wieners.” Gina told Richard she liked his penis better than Sal's. Howard then started with the questions:

What major music video did Gina star in? Tommy knew it was Eminem's "Superman," so Gina stripped down and allowed him to feel her up. Tommy said, "Very nice...that was great."

What is Gina's birth name? Tommy actually spelled out the correct answer: Tanya Mercado. Tommy then grabbed her ass: "It's nice and firm."

Where was Gina born? Tommy knew it was Puerto Rico, so Gina straddled him and began grinding away. Tommy was elated: "This is f’ing awesome."

What was the first movie in which Gina had anal sex? Tommy didn't know the answer: there isn't one. Gina said she's actually never had anal - not even in her personal life: "Anything near my asshole freaks me out...but I will pound any girl anally with a dildo." Sal and Richard then crouched over Tommy's face and slapped away as the crew laughed hysterically. Howard was disgusted: "Sal, you were getting aroused!"

What state does Gina live in? Tommy actually knew the town and the state: Pennsylvania. Tommy lied down on the ground as Gina took off his shirt and rubbed him down: "Oh he's hairy. Are you ok? He's pretty hairy...I would shave that shit off."

Gina stepped over to the Sybian and took it for a ride: "I think about hockey players. Hot professional hockey players...I'm getting there...I have to, like, get that spot...I'm getting there...I found the spot...higher higher higher...[climax]...it doesn't take that much anymore. My body just let out, like, all energy." Gary laughed that Gina really rode the Sybian: "She almost came off it."

The National Enquirer wants John Edwards' DNA.

Regis Philbin has re-signed with ABC through 2011.

A little Somalian girl was stoned to death for adultery because she'd been raped.

Obama's speech was incredible.

Oprah is happy.

Bush has invited Obama to visit his future home.

Now that Obama's been elected president, someone has to be appointed to fill his Senate seat.

A Black Panther showed up at a Philadelphia polling place.

Tim Robbins was upset to learn he couldn't vote.

Lupe Fiasco is retiring.

"Repo: The Genetic Opera" is a new musical starring Paris Hilton.