DENISE RICHARDS: WILD THING
The Howard Stern Show for June 4, 2009

Early in the show, Howard played a clip Spider Harrison's bizarre transitions on Sirius Hits 1 and asked to know more about the guy. Lisa G came in to report that she knew Spider, a Jewish guy from Brooklyn named Robert: "He loves Cousin Brucie." Howard asked if he was good-looking, and Lisa said he was: "He got the name Spider from his friends in Brooklyn because he was tall." Gary noted that in the 80’s he was known as “The Jammer” on Z100, to which Artie joked, “Wow, I remember turning him off every day.”

Howard said he was watching “I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here” last night and was now sure that former “American Idol” contestant, Sanjaya was gay: "I can't even fathom. He volunteered immediately to massage Lou Diamond Philips’ feet." Howard added that there was someone even creepier in primetime: the foot fetishist on this season’s “The Bachelorette.” In a clip, the guy effused: "A woman’s gotta have high arches and good toenails."

Gary reported that he was recovering well from his catheter-assisted kidney stone removal: "It doesn't hurt anymore but what time is it? 7:15? I've peed six times." Howard was freaked out: "These stones sound scary. Even I've now changed my diet." Later, as The Wrap-Up Show started, Gary confessed that he'd peed 15 or 20 times throughout today’s show.

And Artie replies: "About four cocks a day."

Denise Richards stopped by to promote the new season of her reality show, “It's Complicated,” and Howard immediately put on the pressure: "Was your life ever tough? When you're this beautiful?" Denise said she went through an awkward stage but had it pretty easy since she got her braces off in 8th grade. Howard told Denise he loved her nude scene in “Starship Troopers” and “Wild Things”: "Did you ever go for girls in real life?" Denise laughed: "In my 20’s, I may have had experiments...they came on to me and I was curious."

Howard went through a list of Denise's past relationships, starting with Scott Baio, but Denise claimed they were never romantically involved: "I went out on a few dates with him. I never dated him." Howard reported that he claimed she was a “3” in the bedroom during his last appearance on the show, which confused Denise: "I never did anything [sexual] with him. I did not have sex with Scott Baio. Didn't give him a blowjob. Nothing."

Robin wondered if John Stamos, the next guy on the list, was a good lay, and Denise answered without pause: "He is actually." Denise then admitted that she later fell for Charlie Sheen almost too quickly: "He was 3 years sober and he was working and doing really really well." But Richie Sambora stole her away easily: "He's good in bed."

Denise readily described her split from Charlie Sheen: "When I first left him, I was six months pregnant. With a baby." No one asked what else she could've been pregnant with: "Then we got back together briefly after the baby was born and it was done three months later." Richie Sambora consoled her: "When I got together with Richie, Richie was single. Heather [Locklear] had filed for divorce."

Howard asked if Denise missed being friends with Heather, but Denise said no: "I don't...we're different and that's why the friendship ended. It had nothing to do with Richie. If we were friends, would I have gotten together with Richie? No." Denise added that she had to change her phone number after she started dating Richie because Heather would constantly call and leave angry voicemails.

Howard asked Denise about her Gynecologist and she revealed that she thought he was in his late forties and was recommended to her by Heather. On hearing that this man regularly saw both Denise Richard’s and Heather Locklear’s vaginas, Howard asked if his name was Doctor Lucky. Denise also reported that she trimmed herself so that there was a small triangle with “just a hint of lips.”

Howard read a report of Denise's divorce settlement, which claimed she gets $52,000 tax-free in child support, $60,000 a month in alimony and also $25 million in the estate split. Denise confirmed the child support and alimony stipends but denied the $25 million estate split: "I haven't seen that...where's my money? I don't put it out there in the press, but..."

Toward the end of the interview, Denise started rolling with the revelations. On sex tapes: "I did do a video with one boyfriend but we erased it quickly...it was just not a very attractive video." Commenting (for the first time) on her fake breasts: "They're natural on the outside. I've never talked about it but I'll talk about it with you because I can't lie to you...young girls don't do it!" Denise went on to explain that she had to have the procedure done three times to get them just the way she wanted.

Jeff the Drunk called in to ask if Denise spat or swallowed and Denise was forthright: "I do [swallow]...because I love him. I figured if I spit it out, it would be an insult to him." Howard wondered if she was open to anal - and got a surprising answer: "I wouldn't shut it down. Yes...I actually like it." Howard then asked if she could achieve orgasm during anal, and Denise confirmed it: "Um. [If you're] doing other things along with it."

For the record, she'd kill Charlie Sheen, “F” John Stamos and marry Richie Sambora. Adding that things were actually doing very well with Charlie and she regretted having to kill him in order to save the world (that was part of the premise Howard laid out for in explaining the game).

Kathy Griffin stopped by to promote the fifth season of "My Life on the D-List" on Bravo and Howard asked her about the time she used profanity while co-hosting CNN's New Year's Eve show with Anderson Cooper. However, before Kathy could answer, Benjy confessed that he was the heckler she swore at. Kathy laughed: "I was on an international news outlet with a Vanderbilt...first of all, I could have said, 'I could kick you in the c--t but I don't want to lose a good boot'...I really just said ['Do I come to your work and knock the cocks out of your mouth?'] to make Anderson laugh...I turned to Anderson and said, 'Am I fired?' and he said, 'No.'"

Kathy told the crew about hanging with her new friend - Cher:" We had been texting for a while. And I wish I could say sexting...I call [her house] Cher Island. It's a compound...usually what happens is we go to her place and she orders from Nobu...she has shown me the Cher closet, which is a dream come true. I just gasp. Usually she's just in sweats and no make-up...she actually has a bathroom that so big it has a daybed in it. We sit on the daybed in the bathroom and eat Nobu."

Kathy laughed that she'd lost a lot of weight thanks to diet and exercise, but her friends and family were paying the price: "I'm hungry and bitchy all the time." She's not missing her ex-husband, though: "I wish him the best wherever he is - but good riddance."

Kathy then described her recent run-in with “Speidi” (Spencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, the celebutard, former co-stars from MTV's “The Hills”) at a dinner party: "They walk over to me...and I obviously got uncomfortable because I don't want to talk to “Speidi,” I just want to talk about them later behind their backs...and [Spencer]'s dressed like a date-rapist...he said, 'I'm a media-whore just like you' and I was just like [ugh]."

Howard got Mike Walker from The National Enquirer on the line, as he does every Thursday, to play The Gossip Game, in which Mike reads four gossip items - three (allegedly) true, one false - and the crew has to pick the fake. This week's stories:

1. When Sean Penn shocked his ex-wife, Robin Wright Penn, by requesting a divorce, she promptly threw her wedding ring at his head.

2. Hugh Grant tipped a NYC bathroom attendant with a $100 bill.

3. Martin Sheen ordered Charlie Sheen's new wife to make peace with Denise Richards so both sets of children can have a relationship.

4. Joy Behar tried to get her new husband to wear a dead man's old suits.

Howard and Fred went with the Sean Penn story. Robin and Artie picked the Joy Behar story. Mike then announced that Robin and Artie were right - the item was a recycled from an incident in his personal life.

David Carradine was found dead in a Thai hotel room.

Forbes has released its annual Celebrity 100 Power list.

That missing Air France flight broke apart in the air.

Sasha Baron Cohen is being sued over one of his “Bruno” pranks.

The mercury in fish might cause liver disease.

Blackberries could be vulnerable to hackers.

New Hampshire has legalized gay marriage.

Eminem admitted that the Bruno stunt was fake.

Danny McBride co-stars in “Land of the Lost.”