Official Wack Pack List: Who’s In and Who’s Out?

Howard recently got to wondering which Wack Packer he would want to be if given the choice. He and co-host Robin Quivers decided to really hash it out but first, they had to figure out who was and who wasn’t a member of the Wack Pack.

And so, once and for all, here is who the Stern Show has selected as official Wack Packers.

WACK PACKERS

Beetlejuice

Mark ‘Bigfoot’ Shaw

Crackhead Bob

Ass Napkin Ed

Angry Alice

High Pitch Erik

Fred the Elephant Boy

Gary the Conqueror

Hanzi

Jeff the Drunk

John the Stutterer

Nicole Bass

Riley Martin

Siobhan

Wendy the Slow Adult

Miss Howard Stern

Celestine

Cliff Palete

Matthew “Bigfoot” McGrory

Blue Iris

Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf

Kenneth Keith Kallenbach

Eric the Actor

Jeff the Vomit Guy

Sour Shoes

Tan Mom

Medicated Pete

Mark the Bagger

Melrose Larry Green

Asian Pete

NOT WACK PACK MATERIAL

Ham Hands Bill

Yucko the Clown

King of All Blacks

Mariann from Brooklyn

Angry Black

Big Black

Gay Ramone

Captain Janks

Joey Boots

Steve from Florida (formerly Bobo)

Daniel Carver

Evil Dave Letterman

Iron Sheik

Ted the Janitor

Surprisingly, it seemed that everyone who did not make it into the Wack Pack was very upset about it. Mariann from Brooklyn called up to voice her displeasure in not being selected. Bobo was equally devastated, and Captain Janks tried to prove he was in by claiming the phrase Wack Packer was coined especially for him. Gay Ramone even called up crying.

Then it came time for Howard and his staff to pick who’d they want to be in the Wack Pack.

Stern Show Executive Producer Gary Dell’Abate immediately chose Gary the Conqueror and nobody could figure out why. Howard theorized that it was solely because Gary wouldn’t have to change his name.

Fred Norris initially went with Jeff the Drunk, but decided that he’d need to think about it some more.

Ronnie Mund immediately went with Miss Howard Stern because she loves to drink and party.

Sal Governale chose Beetlejuice because he’s always having a blast – though it was revealed that he acts conservatively when he’s at home with his mother.

Benjy Bronk chose Ass Napkin Ed since his life seemed fun.

Robin settled on Medicated Pete.

Howard went with Sour Shoes.

We polled the rest of our staff off the air and here were their picks:

Richard Christy – Sour Shoes

JD Harmeyer – Beetlejuice

Jon Hein – Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf

Will Murray – Ass Napkin Ed

Jason Kaplan – Wendy the Slow Adult

Steve Brandano – Beetlejuice