Ronnie Mund at the Movies: His Review of ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’

Both newswoman Robin Ophelia Quivers and Limo Driver Ronnie Mund both saw the much-anticipated film adaptation of “Fifty Shades of Grey” over the weekend. Robin decidedly did not like the movie, but Ronald had a more passionate reaction.

It turns out that Ronald the Romancer has a Valentine’s Day tradition – he takes his girlfriend Stephanie to a chick flick every year. This year – it was Fifty Shades.

And boy did Ronnie hate it. Now, did he appreciate seeing Dakota Johnson’s ‘knobs’? Yes. Did he enjoy the full bush and bare ass? Of course he did.

What bothered Ronnie was the bad dialogue and the guy who plays Christian Grey. He felt – despite the fact that the character was a very handsome millionaire, it was not realistic that he’d be able to get a girl like the film’s leading lady.

He didn’t think the guy had any game in bedroom. Ronnie scoffed that all he was doing onscreen was ‘biting her neck a little bit, moving down her body slowly. Bullshit!’

Ronnie actually wanted to beat the character with a hammer. There was a couple next to Ronnie and Stephanie and Ronnie suspected she was giving him a hand-job underneath his coat as they watched the movie.

Maybe he would have enjoyed it more if he took advantage of the senior discount (Ronnie is now sixty-five years old), but he didn’t even think about it.