Osama Was a Big P-ssy

Early in the show, Howard said he’d enjoyed reading about the US operation to kill Osama bin Laden, who, in his final moments, used a woman as a human shield: “Big pussy! Big talk! [He] sends other people to come commit suicide. He’s a big shit.”

Howard praised the man who shot him in the head: “And they put another bullet into his chest just to make sure he was dead. Now this was a mission. A kill mission.”

Officials believe Osama never fired his weapon: “None of his bullets ever hit an American. So Osama bin Laden died from an American bullet.”

Howard thought President Obama handled the situation perfectly–except for the burial: “First thing I’d do, I’d put a Santa hat on him. And I’d prop him up and I’d take pictures of him. And then shove him right over and feed the fish.”