AUDIO: Howard Thanks ‘St. Anthony’ for Finding a Lost Kitten

Photo: Shutterstock / No-Te Eksarunchai

The Stern household had a scare earlier this week when one of the kittens they fostered escaped from their adoptive home. To help with the rescue effort, Howard turned to a higher power – St. Anthony. Howard said Beth has turned to the patron saint of lost things before and her prayers actually worked. “One time I lost my glasses in the ocean … she started praying to St. Anthony, I put my hand in the ocean and picked up my glasses,” Howard said on Wednesday of how his wife turned him into a believer.

The kitten was eventually found and “Anthony” himself called in to collect. “You owe me one now. No more jerking off to babysitter porn, enough already,” he told Howard in a thick New York accent. “Cut the shit, it’s a trade-off. I don’t want no more jerking off … I did you a favor and that’s it.”

The saint went on to insist Howard stop using his services. “Enough bitching and moaning,” he ordered. “I’m looking for food and starving kids, you know – I can’t look for cats.”

Listen to more of St. Anthony’s chat with Howard (below).