Benjy Bronk Fumbles Richard Christy Hat Assignment

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

After a successful stretch of Stern Show staffer Sal Governale ejaculating on Richard Christy’s Kansas City Chiefs hat after a lost bet, Benjy Bronk is now in possession of it. Unfortunately, the longtime staffer has made the entire process nothing but a headache—starting from the moment colleague Jonathan Blitt attempted to hand it off to him. “I biked it over to Benjy on Saturday … Benjy put it in like a hazmat bag and then he ran away, and I had to just stop him,” Blitt explained Tuesday morning. “He didn’t even say, ‘Man, I‘ve got to go.’ He just, you know, put the hat in another bag and just took off and bolted … he was silent.”

“I just thought we were supposed to be pretty discreet with this … I didn’t want to get arrested. I wanted to be careful with it,” Benjy reasoned of the peculiar exchange. “I lifted my glasses so he could see it was me and I had him pull down his mask so I could see it was him, and then I made sure we opened the bag so I could see the hat was in it and then … I transferred it into the safe box.”

And while Sal immediately, got to work once he was given Richard’s hat, Benjy hasn’t even started. “I’ve kept it in the box and I haven’t done anything with it yet,” he admitted. “I thought I was supposed to wait for the show to cum on it.”

“Why is it always so complicated with Benjy? … I predict Benjy will never cum on the hat,” a perturbed Howard noted before speaking directly to his staffer. “You had that hat all weekend. You should have been three days into this experiment. What are you doing? It’s almost time for you to hand over the hat to the next guy.”

Sal was equally frustrated. “I’m at home with my wife and kids, I’m trying to hide this from them. It’s very stressful and yet I still managed to do it, to bang it out,” he recalled with increased annoyance. “Drop your pants, jerk off on the hat, take a fucking picture, send it to Jason [Kaplan]—what’s so difficult about this?”