Jon Hein Has Considered Using His Expertise to Open a McDonald’s

He’s lovin’ it—as long as it’s done correctly and to his liking.

On Tuesday, Stern Show staffer Jon Hein revealed he’s unhappy that his favorite local McDonald’s is currently closed for renovations and is concerned at how the updates might affect their offerings. “They always get my order right, it always tastes good, no waiting on the line … it’s fresh, it’s hot,” the “Fast Food Maniac” author explained to Howard.

A stickler for good service, Jon also discussed his past flirtations with opening up a McDonald’s of his own. “I would make sure that, you know, the orders were always right, I’d make it so people would get in and out as quickly as possible, I’d have it as clean as possible,” he said of what a Hein-run establishment might look like before explaining his strategy of preaching line etiquette. “When they come in and they look a little lost … I’d have different lines. If you’re new you can take your time with your order but if you’re a veteran, you can just go over here … it’s all about efficiency.”

If Jon’s fantasy McDonald’s seems to have a lot of rules, it’s because as a customer he makes up his own. “I will take one step to the right to let the next person come up but I will stay there waiting for my food … I can get a view of the kitchen and see if they’re doing it correctly,” he said of boxing out customers before noting a similar strategy at the drive-thru. “I do not pull away until I open the bag, inspect the burger, make sure that there’s no cheese on it. If there is cheese on it, I can hand it right back and I say, ‘This isn’t correct.’”

Specific yes, but the approach works. “One of the most embarrassing things that ever happened to me going to McDonald’s is I walked up one day and I didn’t even order,” Jon confessed to Howard. “They just put it in and said, ‘It’s $8.47.’”