George Takei Rates Staffers’ Dads and Revisits Getting Shut Down on ‘The View’

“Star Trek” legend turned Stern Show announcer George Takei returned to the studio on Monday along with his adoring husband Brad. The two sat with Howard for a long conversation touching upon everything from last month’s Japan Day Parade fiasco to George’s recent visit to “The View,” but first the 85-year-old actor participated in a Father’s Day-themed segment in which he examined photos of various men and ranked their attractiveness.

But there was a catch.

“We wanted him to evaluate these men,” Howard said, “But what we didn’t tell George was, in honor of Father’s Day, these are pictures of staff fathers.”

George was floored upon hearing the big twist. “You asked me to judge a book by its cover!” he said before Howard played clips of his sometimes scathing critiques.

Jason Kaplan’s Dad

The first photo George looked at was of Jason Kaplan’s father, who the staffer described was a warm and cherished man. “I love my father so much,” Jason said. “I spent a lot of [Father’s Day] thinking of him and thinking wonderful thoughts.”

Upon seeing his picture, however, George was less than impressed. “He is fat, to be blunt. Anyone that slovenly is an absolute turn off,” the actor said. “If I came across a book and that was on the cover, I’d put it right down and move on. On a scale of one to 10, I’d give him a minus-one.”

Howard and Jason were flabbergasted by the harsh review, but George reminded them he was “not judging the character or the soul” of Jason’s dad, who in fact seemed quite “jolly.”

George Score: -1

Wolfie’s Dad

As George prepared to judge a photo of Wolfie’s late father, the Stern Show correspondent braced himself for impact. “This is going to be rough,” Wolfie told Howard.

“Well, he’s fleshly. Lots of flesh. He’s got tits, breasts,” George said after seeing the photo. “That mushy mustache is not an attractive thing on him.”

“If I happened to walk into a room and see a picture of this guy in his underwear, I would close the door and walk away,” he continued.

“That was really mean, George,” Wolfie said with a laugh.

George’s Score: 2

Sal Governale’s Dad

Up next was Sal Governale’s dad, whose pizza-making and procreating skills have long been the stuff of Stern Show legend.

“He’s got a cigarette in his mouth. I hate the smell and certainly the taste of a smoker. He’s dressed carelessly, he looks unbathed, I’d say I don’t trust him,” George said upon seeing Mr. Governale’s photo.

Howard quickly came to the elder Governale’s defense. “[Sal’s] father did very well with what little he had,” he said, joking about the other children he’d fathered.

“Very, very true,” Sal agreed. “Yesterday was Father’s Day and we pretty much rented out the Knights of Columbus for all the kids there.”

George’s Score: 3.

Will Murray’s Dad

Will Murray is regarded by many as one of the most attractive Stern Show employees, so few were shocked when George essentially began salivating over his father’s photo.

“He looks like he might be a runner. He’s got tight muscles,” George said before talking about how he’d like to “wrestle” with Mr. Murray. “He’d be worth a few tumbles and then, working up some sweat, I’d run my lips over each tit,” he added.

Howard was shocked. “You sound like you’re back on ‘The View,’” he said.

Will, meanwhile, was unsurprised by the assessment. “I thought he’d be George’s type. He’s a pretty muscular dude and he loves to run around half-naked all the time,” the staffer said.

George’s Score: 8.

Richard Christy’s Dad

Richard Christy’s dad is famous to Stern Show fans for the voicemails he’s left his son, but on Monday his looks were on display.

“[He’s] frowning—probably a pessimist. He’s not particularly attractive and he doesn’t look inviting … It’s a complete turn off,” George said upon seeing the photo. “It would be difficult for me to be able to get anything up for him.”

Rough though the review was, Richard wasn’t too dismayed. “You know what? After hearing other dad’s being reviewed a four is pretty good,” he said.

“I apologize. I’m so sorry,” George told him. “I think you’re sexy, Richard.”

George’s Score: 4.

Mike Pearlman’s Dad

Last but far from least was the father of staffer Mike Pearlman.

“He’s got a nice smile … [his] face looks shaped and formed—a light mustache, hair on his chest … Yeah, he’s worth looking into,” George said upon seeing his photo. Before long, he was sharing erotic details of things he wanted to do with Mr. Pearlman’s body. “I’d like to be all over him.”

“I don’t know how to feel about that,” Mike admitted. “But I guess, on a strictly competitive level, it’s a win.”

George’s Score: 9.

After candidly ranking each staffer’s dad, George copped to feeling a bit guilty. “I apologize for those fathers I talked about in an unattractive way,” he said.

“This is why I have to monitor him 24-7, because he’s a loose cannon,” Brad said at one point, referring also to the actor’s recent appearance on “The View.” He’d gone there to promote his role in the Japan Day Parade but instead wound up sharing details of a crush he had on another boy in grade school.

“The View” co-hosts didn’t seem interested in George’s trip down memory lane, and Howard wondered if that had offended him.

“No, because I was a guest and they’re the boss,” George said. “They all shut up and they just grinned at me, and I filled a void,” he continued. “So, I kept on talking and talking, and I was running out of things to talk about, so I introduced my childhood when I was discovering ways that I was different.”

The talk show appearance led to a fight between George and Brad, the latter of whom thought George should’ve spent more time promoting the parade. The Stern Show microphones caught the lovers’ spat, which Howard played a clip of Monday on the air.

 “Have you two considered going into couples therapy?” Howard joked after playing the clip.

“That’s what we’re doing right now,” Brad laughed.

“This is it!” George agreed.