VIDEO & PHOTOS: 3 Bachelors Compete to Win a Date on Woo Sam’s Mom

Love was in the air Tuesday morning as Stern Show staffer Samantha Fontana and her mother Cathy visited the studio to play Woo Sam’s Mom. The dating game — devised shortly after Cathy called into the show, spoke candidly about her sex life, and won over a plethora of lovelorn listeners — involved Sam’s mother blindly interviewing three eligible (and vetted) bachelors desperate to win a Zoom date with her.

“We weeded out a lot of the perverts, we think,” Howard told Cathy with a laugh.

Cathy — who hadn’t had sex in over five years — told Howard it’s hard to “organically” meet good men. “Sometimes I scare men, I hear,” she said before adding that she wasn’t big into online dating or cruising funerals for recently widowed men.

While Sam encouraged her mother to be less picky about who she dated, Howard assured Cathy he’d winnowed out all the unsuitable contestants. “Cathy’s rules are no hair dye, no one cheap [or] short, flabby, clingy, or too young,” he said. “We think we hit all the criteria.”

“You ready to meet your bachelors?” Howard asked.

“Absolutely,” Cathy responded.

Meet the Suitors

Bachelor No. 1 was Jonny G., a 60-year-old realtor and former restauranteur from Miami Beach, Fla., who rides a Harley on weekends and once had a threesome with women he picked up at bikini contests. He couldn’t wait to meet Cathy. “[She’s] definitely my cup of tea,” he said.

Sam, meanwhile, didn’t love the idea of his mom mounting Jonny G.’s hog. “I wouldn’t like her to ride motorcycles,” she said. “Can you put her in a sidecar or something?”

Bachelor No. 2 was Richard, a 55-year-old Hollywood producer who once recorded a CD of farts and more recently worked as a car seat-sniffing Uber driver to research a crime thriller.

Bachelor No. 3 was Danny, a 46-year-old drummer and landscape maintenance pro from South Carolina. He’s 10 years sober, likes the ocean, loves older women, and once played a set with Chubby Checker. He told Cathy he was sexually adventurous, too, and once enjoyed a “700-pound weekend” with two large women. “I used to be a wild man,” he said. “I’m cool with all shapes and sizes.”

“It sounds like he’s open minded,” Cathy said.

Time to Woo

Cathy began the question-and-answer phase of the game by asking Bachelor No. 1 about his mother, whom he said he had adored. Sam followed it up with a question for all three men about what made them “bad boys.”

“I love attitude,” Bachelor No. 2 confessed.

“I can maybe do a little slapping of the butt cheeks and that kind of stuff—a little pinching,” Bachelor No. 3 added.

The topics quickly turned sexual as the bachelors demonstrated their dirty talk and answered questions about their porn fantasies, their love-making music of choice, and even what they would do in the event of a butt-licking canine.

“I think Sam just yakked,” co-host Robin Quivers said.

Things took a turn after Bachelor No. 2 revealed his fantasy involved both Cathy and Sam. “They’re both having fun with me and I’m having fun with them,” he said.

Sam couldn’t believe it. “That is so demented,” she said.

“It’s disgusting,” Cathy added before asking follow-up questions about toe fungus and clogging toilets.

Ronnie Weighs In

No dating game would be complete without the valued opinion of the Stern Show’s very own sex and romance expert, Ronnie “The Limo Driver” Mund, who confessed he’d caught “playboy” vibes from bachelors No. 1 and No. 3. “I don’t think that’s what she’s looking for. She’s looking for a relationship,” Ronnie said.

Ronnie believed Cathy would have better luck with Richard, Bachelor No. 2. “[He’s] the best choice,” Ronnie said. “When he talked about having a relationship with [Cathy] it was all about having a relationship with her and making her happy.”

“Wow, I’m putting that on my ringtone,” Richard marveled.

“My mind is fucking blown. I don’t know what to think,” Samantha said, still reeling from Bachelor No. 2’s fantasy.

Flirty G in the House

Howard then welcomed brief visits from “Andrew Dice Clay,” “Rosie O’Donnell,” and Stern Show executive producer Gary Dell’Abate’s horny alter ego “Flirty G.” “I love a hot mama who has lived through menopause,” Flirty Gary told Cathy. “When the periods are stopping, my loads are popping,”

Howard’s longtime stylist Ralph called in next to offer his unsolicited opinion. “Jonny seems to be the only logical choice,” he said of Bachelor No. 1.

Cathy’s Big Decision

The bachelors made one last case for why Cathy should date them, and their pleas ranged from sincere to funny. While Cathy appreciated each man showing interest, she could ultimately choose only one.

“All three of them have put their asses on the line, a lot of people have weighed in … is it gonna be Jonny G, Richard, or Danny?” Howard asked.

“It’s gonna be Jonny G,” Cathy said.

Before meeting Jonny G., the man she had selected, Cathy met the two men she passed on.

“I got you a pink dildo,” Richard told her, referencing a story she told during her previous call-in.

“That’s very thoughtful,” Cathy responded.

“Nice to meet y’all. You’re beautiful, by the way,” Danny told Cathy.

“He’s really good looking,” Cathy said of Danny before conceding a 46-year-old partner was probably just a little too young.

Here’s Jonny!

Cathy was excited to finally meet Jonny G., who immediately lifted up his shirt and flaunted his six pack. “Your abs are better than mine, honey,” she laughed.

Jonny was smitten with Cathy and eager to go on their date. “We could go on a nice dinner. We could hop on a motorcycle and go to a biker bar. I think she would be comfortable anywhere, and I think we’d have a great time no matter where we went,” he said.

“What do you think of your new stepfather?” Howard asked Samantha.

“I think he’s genuine. I like his vibe … He looks like a good guy,” Samantha responded. “I could see this being a thing, maybe.”

“I think Jonny G. is the right guy,” Howard agreed, adding, “I think maybe we found a love connection.”