VIDEO: Memet Walker Has Big Plans If He Becomes Executive Producer of the Stern Show

Memet Walker has never shied away from giving his Stern Show colleagues unsolicited work advice, but now he wants to take things to the next level. During an extensive and controversial PowerPoint presentation Tuesday morning, Memet made the case for what he would do if he filled in for Gary Dell’Abate as an executive producer for a day. “It’s a radical plan to shake up and wake up [the staff],” he explained before revealing his first rule. “When I am executive producer of the show, phones will be locked the fuck away.”

Memet also promised to put a limit on bathroom breaks. “You will have two-and-a-half minutes to pee and five minutes to shit,” the staffer said before noting he would enforce the rule with a stopwatch. “If you say you need more than five minutes to shit, what I need is a doctor’s note explaining what your issue is because that’s not normal — especially during working hours.”

After attacking Jon Hein’s wardrobe as part of a new dress code, Memet said he would also begin to remove people from the air who aren’t bringing enough energy. “I’m going to cut off their microphone and say, ‘Move it along because you’re just not bringing it today,’” he warned. “I’ll be the bad guy.”

“You’ve already lit a fire under people’s asses — Jon Hein is back there trying on outfits right now,” Howard joked after Memet concluded his pitch.