Howard Can’t Take Charge

Howard complained that he was trapped by his neuroses: “I’m too uptight to go buy my own shit.

And I want to get a new kind of condom that I read about in Maxim magazine but I didn’t want to write the memo saying to his executive assistant, Laura, ‘Hey can we try these?’

“Everybody knows I wipe my ass with baby wipes. It’s embarrassing. Everything’s embarrassing, because I can’t do anything for myself. I’ve created a lifestyle where I don’t do anything. I just sit there and wait for everyone to do something for me.”