Sirius XM Host Jason Ellis Sits Down With Howard

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Sirius XM host Jason Ellis stopped by to promote his new book, “I’m Awesome,” and answer for his previous career as a professional skateboarder: “It’s an easy life. It’s not even a job.” Jason estimated that there were only a hundred skateboarding pros, but it was still easier to succeed at than radio: “I cannot get a break in this f***ing building.” It’s even easier to become a published author: “I’ve only read one book in my whole life.”Robin saw a crack in Jason’s facade, questioning his book’s title: “Do you really think you’re awesome? I don’t really believe that [you do].” Jason said Robin didn’t know what she was talking about, but admitted he’d recently suffered some setbacks. For instance, his wife left him–and slept with a guy the same day: “She went out with somebody else because I’m a dick.” Then, a newly-single Jason fell into a threesome–one that took a terrible turn for a foursome: “I didn’t like it at all. … I turned around and they had strap-ons on and all of a sudden there was another girl in the bedroom.” And perhaps most dubiously, Jason hasn’t read “I’m Awesome.” He trusted his co-writer, and radio co-host, implicitly: “[Michael] Tully would never misquote me.”

But Does He Really Believe It?

Robin saw a crack in Jason’s facade, questioning his book’s title: “Do you really think you’re awesome? I don’t really believe that [you do].” Jason said Robin didn’t know what she was talking about, but admitted he’d recently suffered some setbacks. For instance, his wife left him–and slept with a guy the same day: “She went out with somebody else because I’m a dick.” Then, a newly-single Jason fell into a threesome–one that took a terrible turn for a foursome: “I didn’t like it at all. … I turned around and they had strap-ons on and all of a sudden there was another girl in the bedroom.” And perhaps most dubiously, Jason hasn’t read “I’m Awesome.” He trusted his co-writer, and radio co-host, implicitly: “[Michael] Tully would never misquote me.”

Jason’s Vampiric Dream Girl

But Jason has met his dream girl–one willing to cut him and drink his blood during sex “Yeah. I love her. … I’ve never had that much in common with somebody. Ever.” Jason described their first hook-up: “I was like, ‘OW!’ but like, ‘F***ING WOW! This bitch is crazy! This is awesome!’ And then she started to suck on my chest and I’m like, ‘Oh my god, she’s drinking my blood! This is the greatest thing ever! I’m in love!'” They’ve since split, but Jason longs for their old routine: “We used to cut each other and pour it into our coffees.”

Other Adventures

On an accidental trannie hook-up: “The tip of the knob went in. … [And] I want it inside my ass! I want to be kinky and do that. But it’s not my thing.” On his A-list hook-up: “Massive movie star big. … She was really famous and was married. And her face changed afterwards, too, it kind of–the sun came out.” On his latest radio stunt–a (painful) penis tug of war versus an RC car: “[You wear] a cone on your penis with a little hook on the end of it and in the cone are little spikes.”