JDini Predicts What Is to Come in 2017

by David Glantz

JDini, our “sad sorcerer who eats only Cheetos and pizza and who has the body to prove it,” returned to the Stern Show studio Wednesday morning during the Christmas Spectacular to offer his predictions for what is to come in 2017.

Here are some highlights from what the “the Merlin of mush-mouth” himself foretold in the midst of much echo:

• “Assholes on Twitter will complain about this bit.”
• “George Takei will star in a new Broadway show called ‘Guys and Guys.'”
• “JD wins a Grammy for Best Foreign Language Record.”
• “An earthquake strikes New York City that is so powerful Sal bites Richard’s dick off.”
• “A terrorist blows up a nuke in Times Square so powerful it almost wakes up Gary Dell’Abate.”
• “Michael Rapaport will win an Oscar … just kidding he can’t even get a cameo on ‘Supergirl.'”
• “Instead of other dog’s asses, dogs start sniffing Benjy Bronk’s shirt.”

“There were moments of mirth in there,” Robin offered in praise after Howard mercifully let JD off the hook. “I wouldn’t call it spectacular,” she added, though.