Richard and Sal Strip Down and Strap in for Gay Lie Detector Tests

Richard Christy dropped his pants before Ed Torian administered his lie detector test Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Ed Torian returned to the Stern Show on Monday morning to administer lie detector tests to both Richard Christy and Sal Governale. The two staffers have long stated they’re heterosexual despite participating in many, many gay antics together over the years. Neither Richard nor Sal have ever had a problem with getting nude for the good of the show and they decided to remove some clothing for their tests today. Richard dropped his pants as Ed strapped him in to his lie detector machine, much to the delight of George Takei who was also on hand this morning.

“I shaved for this, too,” Richard said.

“I want to see,” George said. George quickly came around to Howard’s monitor to get a better view of Richard’s penis.

“He’s not very excited,” George said once he saw Richard’s manhood. He also requested Richard get fully nude and remove his shirt too.

“Is there anything to see, really?” Robin said, unimpressed with what she saw. George agreed that Richard did offer him the eyeful he had hoped for.

“Thanks a lot,” Richard said. “I’m a grower.”

Ed explained to Howard that he’s updated his system since his last visit to the Stern Show, switching from his old analog machine to a new high-tech lie detecting computer. The results are just as accurate, though, and he was ready to get started with Richard Christy.

Below are the questions, results, and reactions to all of the questions Ed asked Richard.

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Do you have any gay feelings?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“It was a big spike on the polygraph,” Ed told Howard. “He was deceptive on that question.”

“I guess gay feelings is a wide range of meaning, though,” Richard said. “Like, I love brunch.

Did you get a boner bathing with your friend in the bathtub?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“The guy wasn’t attractive to him,” Robin supposed.

Did you get aroused looking at Sal’s ass?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“You don’t have that great of an ass,” Richard told Sal, saying he believes Stern Show staffer Will Murray has a much nicer backside than Sal.

Would you like to lick Sal’s asshole?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“That’s news to me!” Richard said.

“Just based on those first four questions, he’s gay,” Howard said.

“Sal, get your asshole over here,” Richard joked.

Have you ever tasted your own semen?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“Have you tasted others’,” Robin suggested they should have asked Richard.

Have you ever been aroused watching gay porn?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Everyone in studio erupted after Ed revealed that result.

“I knew it!” Robin said.

Have you ever masturbated while thinking of another man?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“He’s gay,” Howard said, convinced the test had proven Richard liked men.

“That’s the final determination,” Robin said.

Have you ever experimented sexually with another man?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“The picture that it’s drawing here is that he is gay but he’s afraid to act on it,” Howard said. “Ed, you’re blowing this case wide open.”

“And Richard’s asshole,” Sal added.

Have you ever had gay intercourse?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

Have you ever sexually fantasized about Howard Stern?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Ed laughed while reading the results.

“Aren’t you flattered?” Richard asked Howard.

“No, I’m not,” Howard said.

Richard explained that he has admitted to wanting to see Howard’s penis in the past because he wants to know if he’s telling the truth about its size. But he was reminded he once requested Howard drug him and take his clothes off.

“It’d be funny,” Richard explained.

Have you ever achieved an erection while thinking about Sal?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Do you find your cock attractive?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Are you turned on by your balls?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

When a man shoots a huge load, does that turn you on?

Richard said yes. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“Holy mackerel,” Howard said.

Would you have liked it if during your bachelor party weekend, Sal leaned over and jerked you off?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“If Sal had offered him something on that bachelor party night, it probably would have gone down,” Robin said.

Have you ever been aroused sexually by the touch of another man?

Richard said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“I am very confident in my sexuality,” Richard said. “And if I was gay I’d be fine with it but I don’t feel gay.”

“He hasn’t been able to act on it, but yeah, he’s gay,” Robin said.

George, himself a gay man, believes Richard is more pansexual than gay. “Basically, I think Richard is pansexual,” George said. “He’s a sexual creature but he grew up in a society that teaches you to suppress that.”

Fred Norris shared his surprise to hear all of Richard’s results as well. “I’m kind of in shock,” Fred said. “And if Sal is straight, this is going to come in as a major strain on the relationship.”

Don’t worry, Fred. Sal’s lie detector test definitely didn’t prove him to be straight either. Even before Ed could get started questioning him, Sal made a move on him.

“I’ve never had in 30 years somebody put their hands on me while I’m hooking them up,” Ed said about Sal.

“I was nervous,” Sal explained. “I was holding on to Ed. I put my hands on his shoulders. It was very comforting.” After Sal was done touching him, Ed got the test underway. Below are the questions, results, and reactions to all of his questions, which, in addition to inquiries into his sexuality, also included many questions about his suspected racism.

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Do you think Richard understands you better than your wife?

Sal said yes. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“Male issues that you can’t discuss with a woman,” Sal explained.

Is Richard more loving than your wife?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“It’s a fine line,” Sal said. “My wife is more loving than Richard, but it’s close. They’re both loving, incredible people.”

Have you ever thought about Richard during sex?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“I haven’t,” Sal maintained, but did admit that it’s possible that he thought about Richard unintentionally. “There are images that pop through your head whether you want them or not.”

Robin explained that means he has sexual thoughts about Richard deep in his subconscious.

Have you ever thought about having secret sex with Richard?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“Holy shit,” Howard said.

“Let’s go to commercial break,” Sal said.

Have you ever sexually fantasized about Howard Stern?

Sal said no.

Have you ever thought about having secret sex with Howard?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“You failed. I knew it,” Howard said after hearing those results.

“Both of you are fantasizing about Howard,” Robin said, joking that what brought Richard and Sal together is their mutual love for the King of All Media.

Have you ever sexually fantasized about Fred Norris?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

Do you find cock attractive?

Sal said yes. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

Sal explained that he is only attracted to his own penis.

Are you sexually attracted to Larry Caputo?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Have you ever eaten your own ejaculation?

Sal said yes. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“You can end the test now,” Robin said after Sal’s answer.

Do you secretly wish you were Howard’s significant other?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“I want to be your wife,” Sal said incredulously. “Come on!”

Do you secretly wish you were Howard Stern?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

Do you think Gary is a good executive producer?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“I just did that to break Gary’s balls,” Sal said.

Did you vote?

Sal said yes. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

Robin said she knew for a fact that Sal voted so to hear the result of that question come back as truthful proved to her that Ed Torian’s lie detector was the real deal.

“I am backing up the lie detector in every answer,” she said.

Have you said the N-word in the last year?

Sal said yes. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“Not in a negative way,” Sal said.

“In other words, you were positive when you used the N-word,” Howard asked him, jokingly.

Do you believe white people are smarter than black people?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Do you believe all Jewish people are cheap?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

“I’d rather be gay than get that answer,” Sal said.

“You are gay,” Robin told him.

Do you think all Muslims are terrorists?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Are you afraid of Muslims?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined that was a lie.

Do you hate people of color?

Sal said no. Ed Torian determined he was telling the truth.

“White is a color,” Richard joked.

“Ed, your service to our show is invaluable,” Howard said, thanking him for coming down and discovering the truth about Sal and Richard. “You’ve really liberated these two.”

“I know how I feel and I know that I’m straight,” Richard said.

“We know how you feel, too!” Robin said.

Check out: More Memorable Lie Detector Tests With Ed Torian