Wendy the Slow Adult Won’t Be Getting a New Dog for Her Birthday

Photo: The Howard Stern Show

Longtime Wack Pack member Wendy the Slow Adult turned 37 on Monday, but unfortunately, she won’t be getting a new dog for her birthday. Wendy called Howard and let him know the pooch she had planned on adopting sadly died during neutering surgery, or so her mom told her.

“Robin, you understand, right?” Howard asked his co-host. “The dog, quote-unquote, died.” Whether or not her would-be pet actually passed away or not is unclear, but Howard was just relieved to hear Wendy wouldn’t be responsible for an animal’s well-being. Wendy’s track record of caring for cats, for instance, has been less-than-stellar, with several lost throughout the years.

Wendy gave Howard a happier update about her bowling, a hobby she’s had since first calling the show in 2002. She’s scoring anywhere between an 89 or a 99 and said she no longer has to rent shoes since her friend Jimmy Kimmel bought Wendy her own pair. Of course, Wendy referred to the late-night host as “Jimble Kimble.”

As much as Wendy loves Howard, she confessed to having an actual crush on Stern Show staffer Jason Kaplan. So what would Wendy do if she was ever in a room alone with Jason?

“I would give him a Britney Spears dance,” Wendy told Howard with a laugh.

Jason’s a happily married man, so Howard couldn’t grant Wendy’s wish. Instead, Howard gifted her some birthday cash.

Before hanging up, Wendy gave the phone to her nephew Alex, who was on his way to school. Alex recalled being babysat by Aunt Wendy in his youth and admitted to getting in a bit of trouble while under her watch. Alex told Howard he was now in the seventh grade and was actually late for class since Wendy forgot to wake him up.

From everyone at the Stern Show, have a great birthday, Wendy!